So much to post..... So little time!

     5 Weeks home....  I actually had lost count and thought it was six!  Ha!  It's been awhile since I wrote about progress going on here.  The past 2 weeks or so have been full of ups and downs.
     First of all --   "Teddy" is becoming "Jonathan Theodor Jacobsen."  We are slowly changing over to his new name.  When we taught him the phrase, "What is your name?" we all would practice with our whole name-- first, middle and last.  So, he learned right away that his new name was Jonathan Theodor Jacobsen.  However, he always referred to himself as Theodor; the nickname "Teddy" was what he was called by the orphanage staff.  We wanted to keep "Theodor" as his middle name, and -- since he was already 9 years old when he joined us, if he really wanted to keep his name, then that was OK with us.  In the last week, though, he has started referring to himself as Jonathan Theodor, so that's what we've been calling him as well.  It's a mouthful, but hopefully soon we can switch to just "Jonathan" if he is satisfied with that!

     Next, thanks to my sister, Cathy, who just happens to be an O.T. (how much of a blessing is that?!) , "Jonathan Theodor" has started with some therapy!!!  Cathy evaluated him last weekend and gave us some ideas that we've started putting into practice.



    

     Here Teddy is putting the little glass beads into a container that is just out of his comfortable reach.  It forces him to stretch his hips and legs.  Cathy is working to make most of his therapy into game-type things.  If we demonstrate it for Teddy, his competitive nature makes him want to do it just like we did!

      One other good thing is that "Jonathan Theodor" is doing really well in school.  That is NOT to say that he is enjoying it.  In spite of the break through that we had that one week, the weekend always messes things up!!  He goes 2 days without school, and goes back to his old protests every Monday.  But, quite honestly, he is making a lot of progress.

     The "downer" side of the days since I last posted is that Teddy really has ramped up the "testing" behaviors.  It's fully expected, fully understandable, and fully a patience tester!  :)  Not only has he been having some issues with Dan and me, but he also got to the point where he'd been around everyone in our household long enough to know exactly what it takes to aggravate others (brother and sisters) ... and he hasn't always made himself very endearing to some of them!



     Now, it's very, very easy only to look at the testing and the irritations as negatives.  But, that is simply just from a worldly perspective.  Truth be told (God's truth, that is!), every single time that Teddy challenges Dan's or my authority is a gift of an opportunity to teach a little boy what consistent, loving discipline is.  When I keep that  perspective, being consistent and loving in my discipline comes easier.  When my eyes are NOT looking from that perspective, then life is not pretty.  Over the course of the past 2 weeks, there have been times that I've been floored by obvious answers to my prayer for God to pour out His peace in my heart, and give me His unconditional love for a little boy who has never experienced it.  Grace... it's only God's grace.  Other times, I will confess, I have been floored by ugly examples of my pride that pull me into a power struggle with Teddy that need not be there.  That, too, turns out to be grace again -- grace of a loving Father who cares enough to expose the pride that is obviously there, and teach me to let Him root it out.  And then, the irritations that Teddy has recently enjoyed bringing about in his brother and sisters -- from God's perspective -- those things can be such good opportunities to let God build Christ-like character in them, too.  Tough---  but SO rewarding if we'll all yield to the Spirit and His prompting to respond in a Christ-like way.

Teddy is learning to be gentle with the bunny rabbit!

Our little Indian -- complete with red berry war paint made by Justin!  Teddy wants to do whatever anyone else is doing.... even if he doesn't exactly understand what it is that they are doing!  Ha!  He had no idea whatsoever why he was putting chicken feathers in his "head band," but if it was good enough for Justin, it was good enough for him!!  :)

  

What Comes Naturally

  My kids have a great daddy!  Dan is very involved with them, and they love for him to be around.  He's a very hard worker, and often gets the kids to work along side him at home.  BUT,  he plays hard, too!  :)  Dan is very competitive, and the kids get so excited when Daddy is involved in a game....  he always makes it more fun.  So, therefore, what comes naturally when Daddy has to be away from home?  We all miss him very much.  We think about him, talk about what he might be doing, and can't wait for him to get back.  When he makes it home, the kids all talk at the same time trying to catch him up with things that have happened while he's been gone, they cover him with hugs, and hardly will let him leave the room without someone tagging along!
   What comes naturally to a child who has lived for 9 years in an institution?  "Natural" is the fact that no adults permanently live with you.  The caretakers work shifts, and then go home to their families.  An orphan does not usually have one particular person that he is attached to, one that he misses a lot when that person is gone.  Teddy walked away from the place that had been his home for 5 years and never even casually glanced back.  ( He had been moved there when he was too old to stay in the "baby house" anymore.)  Some of the caretakers seemed sad to see him go, but he did not look even one of them in the eye.  I don't think he even would have waved if we hadn't been waving with him.
   Dan left in the early hours of Tuesday morning to go on an out-of-state business trip.  The other kids knew what was going on, but I forgot to try to prepare Teddy.  Dan is always up and gone to work well before Teddy wakes up each morning, so he got up on Tuesday with nothing seeming any different to him anyway.  I thought that at lunch he would ask where Daddy was, since Dan usually comes in about the time we're getting ready to sit down to eat.  Teddy was oblivious.  I thought that when we got ready for bed, and Dan wasn't there, that Teddy might ask where Daddy was.  Dan always prays with the kids and gives them kisses and hugs before they head to bed.  NO reaction whatsoever from Teddy.  Surely when another day went by, he would ask when Daddy would be home.  All day today, I thought it might occur to him that someone was missing.  He never even realized it.  The kids were all ready for bed tonight when the phone rang.  It was Dan, and I was glad that he called while Teddy was still awake.  I explained what was going on to Dan, and handed the phone to Teddy.  It was unbelievable to watch the expression on his face.....  at first no understanding at all....  then when I said, "It's Daddy" again, it was kind of like a light bulb going on.
   I just wish I knew what really goes on inside his head.  What does he really comprehend yet about "family?"  Are Dan and I still very much like caretakers who might show up for their shift..... or, might not?  Of course, with our house having 7 people in it all the time even without Daddy, Teddy hasn't been lacking for attention or things to do.  He's been enjoying all of the things that he did NOT have at the institution, and the big 'job' of playing takes most of his interest, anyway.  But, it's been painfully obvious that there is quite a lack of attachment yet in his emotions toward those of us who call him part of our family now.  It will take awhile before family  is just what comes naturally.

Three Weeks Home

   Here are pictures of our third week.  Progress is being made every day....  Teddy's legs are getting stronger, and his English is getting better.  Friday he had his first pediatric appointment.  He got 3 shots and a finger prick..... the blood pressure cuff was fun, but those 4 things were not fun at all.... HOWEVER, as we were headed out, the very sweet nurse (who thought Teddy was great!) asked, "Does he like stickers?"  Ha!  So, the 4 not-so-fun things added up to 4 big  stickers.... and he walked out smiling!
   After the full exam, the pediatrician gave us her opinion (not an official diagnosis, I guess, but it does certainly make sense) --- She said that he most likely has mild cerebral palsy.  She suggested looking into therapy just for strengthening his muscles, particularly the left leg.  The surgery that was done 2 years ago (from the looks of things) was most likely not  to correct a club foot.  From the sound of his translated medical file, it was to loosen a rigid Achilles tendon.  We'll still talk with an orthopedist, not exactly for an exam, but just to get his "take" on things.
   So, for a few pictures of the week:

Climbing trees, riding bikes, and swimming still remain the top 3 favorite activities.  Here is Teddy with Sarah and Anna.

Bubble blowing was fun, too!

This is the first family picture of ALL of us together!

One Big Break-through

    We started our home school routine just 36 hours after Teddy arrived in America.  We got home late on the night of Saturday, August 13th, and started school at 8:00 am on Monday morning.  Everything was so new on those first days that Teddy very much was in the "honeymoon" phase of adjustment, and all was well.  It only took a few days, though, before he had realized that "school time" was not the most fun part of the day!  :)  From that point on, we had a battle over one part of the schedule during school time.  But, a nice break-through came 2 days ago..... I was SO excited.  Every day prior to Wednesday, Teddy would realize that I was about to ask him to work on phonics.  He would look me straight in the eye with lots of purpose and say, "NO, Ma-mo!" (He still calls me "Ma-Mo" which is Bulgarian!)  It had honestly been quite a long time since one of our kids had flat -out told me NO!  Now, that's not to say that we have perfectly obedient kids....  usually they do agree, though, but sometimes with delaying tactics!!  We just typically had most of the real battles finished when they were younger.... and had established the chain of authority!!  :)
   So, Teddy kept up his insistence every day that he would NOT do phonics, but in the end, every day (sometimes after a long while, sometimes not-so-long) he would realize that I was very serious when I said, "NO phonics, then NO bike riding!"  He always ended up doing the work, but the next day, it was the same all over again, and I could see by the look on his face that each day he REALLY wished that he could wait me out and see if I would yield first.  But, all it usually took was for it to become obvious that since Leslie was being cooperative, she could cruise on through phonics, math, and reading while he sat pouting at the table saying, "NO!" every time I glanced his way.  The closer she got to being finished with the subjects that must come before any outdoor activities could take place, the more he would realize that SHE was going to beat him to the bike!!  Finally, he would cave in to the calling of the bike!
   However, on Wednesday, even before I asked him to come work on phonics, he did a funny pantomime of sitting at the table doing school work, and said, "Yes, Ma-mo!"   --- Lots of high fives and stickers when that  subject was done!! :)  Hurray!!
   That continued on Thursday and today!!  I think we've won that battle!  More are there to win, of course!  Last night I was looking through the original file we first read about Teddy, and it said, "He has a pronounced stubbornness!!"  I had completely forgotten that was even in there!  We had not seen that part of his personality on our first visit at all.  Naturally it showed up before too long, back while we were still in Bulgaria with him, but it just made me laugh to read it!  The thing about orphan children being stubborn, though, is that it usually is one of the characteristics that -- very honestly -- has kept them alive to this point.  That is not true for all children, of course, but it makes sense that a stubborn persistence in life keeps them from giving in when their lives are very hard.  I'm thankful for the victories we have seen this week.... but I am thankful, too, for his persistence!
   I have reward stickers that have various words of encouragement on them....  Good Job!   Great Work!   Excellent!   Awesome!  Tonight before bed, I got out the calendar and showed him that since today was Friday, tomorrow was a "no school" day.  Teddy's reply??     "AWESOME!"   :)
  

Hot and Hotter!

  This has been one HOT week.  It didn't help that our A.C. thermostat went out earlier in the week.  One day the girls told me that it didn't seem to be acting right, and we started to be concerned when it wasn't staying on in spite of the temperature rising.  By the time Dan and I went upstairs to go to bed, it was 84 degrees up there.  Obviously I was tired enough that it didn't even phase me, though, because we opened all the windows, turned on the attic fan, and I went promptly to sleep!!  The next day, I called the guy we knew who might could help us out with it.  He was near a supply store just when I called, and when I told him the "symptoms," he guessed what the problem was, bought us a new thermostat, and was here to install it within a few hours!!  Praise the Lord!!  The very next day, the high temperature was 101.5.... and that was before adding humidity/heat index! 

   So, all week long, I stood in the shade--  pouring sweat -- just watching  Teddy learning to ride the bike.  I don't know how he stood it, but he has almost gotten the hang of riding decently well.

Watermelon is great  on a hot day!!  Unfortunately, he must have eaten too much on this day, because he threw up not long after I took this picture--  :(

 Teddy continues to make pretty good progress learning English.  After church today, I decided that this week we would learn some new phrases like, "Don't yell in church!"  I realized that this would be needful since -- 1/3 of the way through the service, he saw my dad, and called out loudly, "GRANDDADDY!!!"  We were sitting on the back row just in case he got too noisy or was distracting others.  Other than that one thing, he was pretty good, though.  We'd had a battle at the beginning because he didn't want to sit in the back.  There wasn't room for our whole family there, so some of our other kids were sitting toward the front, and he wanted to sit with them.  He was quite angry with me, and pouted for awhile, and then ended up crying for a few minutes.  But, he got over it.  Next time, I plan to go into the sanctuary early and explain better about why  we are sitting where we are, and how he can "earn" the right to sit with the rest of the kids by using good behavior.

   We have at least one battle a day.  So far, there has always been something to use as good leverage in order to get him to give in to what I'm asking him to do.  It takes awhile though.  He puts up a good fight, but eventually, whatever it is that he is missing out on until he gives in pushes him over the edge and he yields.

    He got his glasses yesterday.  All day on Friday he asked if we were going in the car.  Driving meant that we would go pick up his glasses.  Before that, driving had meant that we might go swimming.  So, when I told him that we'd get his glasses the next day, but that we WOULD cool off on that hot day by going to the pool, he liked the trade quite well!!  (forgot to take along the camera that day again, though!)

So here he is --- very proud of his new glasses!!  Afterwards, we really needed to go by Wal*mart.  While there, I fully expected him to stop every single stranger and show them his glasses!!  I was pleasantly surprised to see that he didn't approach ONE single stranger.  What a change!!  I (mistakenly) thought that we might  be making progress in that area....  only to see that at church this morning, he stopped at least 15 people (most were strangers to him) and showed them his glasses.  So, apparently, the lack of "people approaching" yesterday was all on the account of being thoroughly overwhelmed/overstimulated by Wal*mart, and all of the "stuff" it contained (in spite of the fact that we DID avoid the toy area and stayed only with the aisles that we absolutely needed!)

Here are just a few more pictures of the week... (Week 2 as a Jacobsen!!)

Helping me make bread--  This seems to be a good activity to work on wrist and arm strength!!  :)

He worked on puzzles this afternoon -- with some help from Sarah.  He did a really good job, though.  This was obviously not the first time he had tried to put a puzzle together, though.  I really don't imagine that they had them at his orphanage.... so maybe he had done some at school.

So, I'm getting set for a new week.  The weekend usually throws him off a bit because we don't follow our normal (school) schedule.  I'll brace myself for a battle or 2 tomorrow!! :)  It definitely helps to keep in mind all of the things he is accomplishing ... and the stress of the battles stays in perspective.

 

Where IS that camera, anyway???

   I am really about to fall asleep here at the computer, but since I have not posted once this whole week, I thought I'd write something quickly.  Pictures will not be coming with this post since right now, I have no idea where the camera even is, and I have not been very good at all about keeping it with me this week.  Anna and I REALLY wished that one  of us would have remembered to take it along on our trip to Montgomery this afternoon.  We first went to the eye doctor, and got Teddy's eye exam done and his glasses picked out.  We'll get them tomorrow when I have to go back to Montgomery for a meeting.  He looks very cute in them, and he is so very excited.  Unfortunately, I don't know how to say "the day after tomorrow," in Bulgarian, so Teddy thinks he's getting them tomorrow!  Ha!  I knew that he would be quite frustrated after all the fun in picking out the frames to have to leave them at the lab to have his lenses put in.  Anna and I tried our best to explain to him what they were going to do with his frames.  But, I have an idea that he still is pretty clueless.  So, I said tomorrow, and tried to explain -- not really tomorrow but later after that.  Didn't work -- he came home and proudly announced to everyone here that he's getting his glasses tomorrow!  Oh well--   Maybe we'll go swimming tomorrow and that will make up for it!!  :)   He still asks if we're going swimming every time we get in the van~!
   Back to the eye exam.  I had called last week and asked how to plan to go about all this with the language barrier.  The doctor is really nice and he suggested that we use the 'E' chart that rotates the E's around.  All Teddy would have to do would be point up or down or left or right.  I made flash cards of E's and we practiced at home....  complete with a sticker at the end because he did so well!  Ha!  And, he did wonderfully well at the doctor's office, too!  By the time we'd made it to this week, I knew that Teddy's knowledge of numbers in English was good enough that we could use the number chart, too, and he did great on that, as well.  He's been highly motivated to work on math this week.  -- The main reason is that we have an electronic "Math Whiz" that has lots of buttons to push (!) and I can set it to review easy math facts.  I have him do math last almost as a reward!
   After the eye exam, we went to a fast food place that has a great play area, and he and Leslie had a terrific time playing there after they finished their supper.  I had not originally wanted Leslie to go along because I knew we'd be getting home late.  But, there watching them play, I was so glad that Anna and I were not having to crawl up in the play area to help him find the way through the tunnel to the slides.  "Slide" was his second new word this evening.  "Glasses" was the first!
   I'll find my camera and just do a "pictures of the week" post soon, but for now, I'm headed to bed.  Sleep is precious these days!

One week home!! Pictures of the Week

  Last night when I got the chance to post, I had not downloaded all of the pictures from the week onto the computer.  Here are some cute shots of our first week!!

Leslie was playing "Fancy Nancy" and Teddy didn't want to miss out on the dress-up fun.  So......

He became a cowboy!!!  And, next is my favorite:

One Bulgarian-born, One American born -- both being cute little Mongolians!!  :)

Check out the goggle-smooshed ears!!  Ha!

Teddy was thrilled  with the swimming pool!!  Before we left to go swimming, I showed him a picture on the computer so he would know what we were going to do!!  He eagerly said, "Da! Da!" (yes!)  Now if we get into the van, he asks if we're going swimming!

This is the picture that is the most common sight at our house now!  Actually, it always WAS the most common.... it's just that now Teddy is with the group!!  Legos are a family favorite!

Picking apples from a tree near the house

And-- well, here is school work.... not  exactly the favorite thing of this  boy!!  But, who can blame him when he's got trees to climb and bikes to ride and all these fun things in the world that have opened up to him this week!!

Therefore, stickers have become Mom's best friend!  He loves to get stickers on his work!  Rewards are flowing fast and freely at our house right now!  (they DO have to be earned, though!  ha!)  --- It's so great to find a good incentive!  One of the days that he was completely balking at having to do home school with everyone, it took about 20 minutes of Leslie completing her math (with a sticker!) and handwriting (with a sticker!) to make him think that he was really missing out by being stubborn!!  :)  You can tell how proud he was when he got finished with part of HIS work~

The main missing photo here is of him learning to ride the bike.  Poor Leslie's bike is taking QUITE the beating.  And, Leslie is not appreciating it, either.  The cover over the chain broke in 3 places and fell off, the seat came off and had to be wired and fixed, and at that point we just went ahead and took off the basket and bell knowing that they were next!  He is slowly getting the hang of it now.  Good thing we don't have a social worker visit right now.... they'd accuse us of child abuse!!  His legs are completely black and blue, and in one afternoon, we had to take him inside to doctor on 3 bleeding cuts which were the results of bike crashes.  But, determination is the name of the game.  It never occurs to him that he can't do it.... and therefore, he has started to ride!  Somehow with being concerned about the MANY bike wrecks, I've never managed to get the camera outside and document the effort!  Maybe next time.